Social Media Post: Can you believe that Nicole stole Jessica’s boyfriend? Wow, she’s thinks she’s all that….
Actual thought: I wish I was pretty like Nicole and could land an awesome boyfriend.
Social Media Post: I can’t stand girls who always come to school looking like a magazine…get a life!
Actual thought: If i thought I looked great in cute outfits I’d probably want to wear the latest trends too…
Social Media Post: If you’re going to be friends with that Ashley girl then we can’t be friends….she thinks she owns you and wants to break our friendship.
Actual thought: Ashley is really cool. I’m so jealous of her and I’m afraid I’ll lose my best friend.
Girl on Girl bullying attacks every school no matter the size, age or economic status. Advanced technology shapes tween and teen girls in ways no other generation can relate to. Smart phones, tablets and computers give young girls a 24-7 access to society’s idea of perfection and what it takes to be considered cool. A lack of confidence and a gap in parents ability to fully understand what their daughter is experiencing during this crucial stage of development is placing girls in a vicious cycle of acceptance. Instead of empowering each other and learning from each other, girls as young as elementary age are sizing each other up and tearing each other down.
We can tell girls to be confident and ignore the haters but the real fix to bullying is making sure that girls have the tools and mentorship needed to embrace their self worth and use their “power” for good. In the Wizard of Oz Dorothy had the power to go home all along…she just had to search from within and find it. A world full of girls that look the same and act the same sounds quite boring to me. Learning from each other will charge our superhero powers to create a generation of women who rock the world but first, let’s take a look at the necessary tools.
Mean Stinks!! It really does and I am very honored to be an Ambassador for Secret Deodorant’s Mean Stinks campaign with Teen Vogue. This campaign makes us THINK about how mean words can last a lifetime and best of all, Secret’s campaign is more like a community full of empowerment and positivity for girls of all ages. Their social media posts are the exact words we girls relate to and their mantras are so spot on we want to shout them from the rooftops. As I travel around the U.S. giving my signature “Girl Talks” one of my favorites is the Mean Stinks Let’s THINK talk. Girls want someone they can relate to and I’ve recently been through exactly what they are experiencing and at times I still experience the negativity of others so the girls feel comfortable talking about these social issues. Mean Stinks tells girls to paint their pinkies blue and put them UP as a way to say I’m ganging up for good to end the negative girl drama once and for all. If all girls learn the tools that empower them to be confident and kind the generation behind us will have amazing mentors to look up to. Here’s my top three confidence tips that goes with Mean Stinks message.
My top 3 Tips for Gaining Confidence
1. Change your perspective. Recognize your talents, embrace them, and don’t be afraid to show them off to the world. Everyone is good at something, so explore different hobbies until you find what makes you special. Give yourself the approval to take pride in them. Insecurity is simply a state of mind in which you have claimed yourself a target; so alter your perception of yourself into your very own superhero. Do not let yourself be wronged. Change your self-talk to “I can” statements, instead of “I can’t.” Find something you enjoy and spend every moment possible doing it. When I discovered my passion for acting and empowering others, my self-confidence soared through the roof.
2. Live in the present moment. Don’t devote your time to dwelling on something irresponsible you said a week ago or wondering if you insulted that one guy at that one party. Don’t devote it to worrying about what will occur at the next party or about which outfit you should wear for your birthday two months from now. Focus on appreciating the moment you’re in, the company you keep (This is a BIG tip – the company you keep says a great deal about you.) and the lovely features of life that are visible to you. However, having goals for your life is a great idea. Just remember… life is a valuable gift and you want to be able to appreciate it to the fullest by accepting the world surrounding you. Since my schedule is so busy, it is easy for me to get wrapped up in dates, deadlines, and responsibilities. The moments I spend with my best friends, sitting on the couch, laughing so hard we are crying, without a care in the world? Those are the ones I will never forget.
3. Embrace the unknown. I just recently joined the Delta Mu chapter of Alpha Delta Pi, and to say that I have embraced the unknown is the understatement of the century. I am not close with anyone who has ever been a part of Greek Life. Signing up for recruitment was really brave because I had no idea what to expect. Were the girls going to be mean? Is it like the movies? Would I even get accepted? There were a million things I could have worried about throughout recruitment, but I decided to focus on one thought: Things happen for a reason. If I never try something new, I will never expand my horizons. I am happy to say that being a part of a sisterhood has been everything I had ever hoped for. Instead of spending recruitment being insecure, worried, and scared, I had fun, showed the girls my authentic self, and gained some confidence along the way.
Now, what are you waiting for? You’ve got the power so let’s rock a little confidence as we end the negative drama for good because MEAN STINKS!!
For more information on Secret’s Mean Stinks Campaign visit www.meanstinks.com